(Because we are Indians)

Burst a Big Babol. Or sip a Cock-a-Cola
Thumb down a Meru. Or just take an Ola
Brands are just names. Kyunki hum ne bola
Unnees ho ya Bees. Satra ho ya Sola

In India anything goes when it comes to a brand name
If people love your product, you’ll ace the Marketing game
If a consumer walks in, you won’t be asking why she came
If she chooses ‘Jill’ over ‘Pril’ the Goras have only themselves to blame

Lifebuoy ho ya L’Occitane. Danone ho ya Amul
No one gives a flying fuck as long as the price is cool
We wrote the book on Jugaad. Don’t take us for a fool
Just ask Baba Ramdev how he’s making us all drool

Patanjali paste... noodles, soaps and shampoo
He’s everywhere now. From your kitchen to your loo
The Levers and the Garniers can learn a thing or two
Kaise kisi ko thokte hai – suddenly without a clue

From jet planes to safety pins. iPhone X to Jio
Single malts to Blender’s Pride – jo mann kare piyo
Fogg comes and fucks Axe on the subject of B.O.
Did you even imagine there was gas in your deo?

We are thirsty. We are hungry. And we're pissed off even more
We are the public. Fuck with us. And we will show you the bloody door
We go to bed with inflation. Our growling tummies make a shor
Believe us when we tell you we middle class are a total whore

We will sleep with any brand if the price is just right
Loyalty is a grey area. It is not in black and white
If you think you've figured us out then you must be really tight
Note to Marketers: Shift your crosshairs. We are not in your sight

The rich can play their games all day. They don’t have to earn
They have got no fucking clue about an inflation burn
There’s no Burnol for that problem as you quickly learn
When big brands decide to gangrape you and you’ve nowhere to turn

That’s when spurious comes to the rescue. Like Batman in his suit
That’s when Babaji gives you the chance to give Colgate the boot
That’s when new brands, high on Swades, blow their horns – toot toot
That’s exactly when new songs get written about reversing the loot

We do forgive. But we don’t forget. It’s in our fucking genes
We learn to fight and fend for ourselves by the time we’re in our teens
We are magicians extraordinaire, making most out of modest means
To the Underdog, the canny Sadhu, is where our sympathy leans

So any brand is a Superbrand and any story, a winner
We’d rather go with a crooked saint than with a white-skinned sinner
We are fucked up that way baby but hey, that is essentially us
And if you haven’t understood that then Charlie, you’ve missed the bus