Calmer Sutra - Staying stable in an unstable world

Let me declare right away: I have no fucking clue how to stay stable in an unstable world. If you were expecting a listicle of the likes of '10 ways to calm the fuck down' then you are deeply mistaken. If you leave at this point, we can be civil to each other.

Like I said, I have no clue about stability. Let alone advise others about it. In fact, most of the time I find myself feeling as if the pin to my grenade and I will be going in opposite directions. Any time now.

But then, all knowledge comes from awareness. And awareness is about the senses, the ability to be alive and responsive to our surroundings. And I think, in fact I believe, that a crucial part of staying stable is to be acutely aware of instability. The Brownian motion of the world around us is very oftentimes micro mapped onto our brains and minds as well and we, more often than not, reflect instability purely by being near or inside it rather than from being volatile ourselves. Then again, there are the truly volatile — those continuously quivering people for whom it is always the next parking lot where their wagons could have been parked. They are neurotic, obsessive, oftentimes geniuses and everytime pains in the ass.

So, put simply, where does instability originate? I think instability originates either in ourselves or in our immediate surrounding. And today, our immediate surrounding is no longer defined by geography but by our imagination and our broadband speed. In such a case, it is but obvious (at least to me) that everyone at least once in their lives will most certainly be unstable. We will all, sooner than later, feel the overwhelming rush of the constant clamour that is engulfing us and fall prey to the reckless sanction that is allowed us by our times. What do we do then? Do we wait for the inevitable to happen? Like worshippers and historians. Or do we prepare for the surely plausible and eminently possible by fortifying ourselves in some sense? Maybe, we can build walls and moats around ourselves. Pull up the drawbridge and never open the windows. Solving problems by eliminating experience. After all, our four walls can never crash if we don’t have any walls to begin with.

But is perpetual barrenness the answer to fertility problems? Or removing the ability to feel the antidote to possible emotional hurt? It is a bit like believing that the best way to bring up a child is by deciding never to have one. Perpetually eliminating all experiences cannot be the insurance against adverse experiences. Life is lived chin to the wind. And if all that is blowing at us are the winds of change then our chins need to become better. If Darwin’s finches got that so clearly, so should our chins. So, how do we stay the fuck calm? Isn’t it more gorgeous to react than to protract? Isn’t there more glory in losing our head than to keeping it? History (and Lucy Mancini) loved Sonny Corleone more than the thoughtful, chilled blooded Michael. The blustering, the boisterous, the jerk with the knee jerk and the cowboy who is swiftest to the draw are characters we love and secretly emulate in reconstructed scenes in our minds because they reflect our deepest instincts and desires. We want to be the saviour. We want to be the adventurer with smoking six shooters and smouldering intentions. Ten cases out of ten, we would rather be honourably foolish. Even if the world judges us as more foolishly honourable. Our hearts and minds, histories and futures all become the moth that chases the light of glory, even if it incinerates us in the end.

But that is the problem. Too many people, too many times mistake impetuosity for instinct and rashness for chivalry. There are no medals for burning at the stake without first understanding why and those seventy two virgins are really old now. Staying calmer than the breed around us is as much a necessity as it is a virtue and those people who are able to do it have access to a deeper level of clarity that is too transient to even be missed by most others. When Kipling challenged us by asking if we could keep our heads when all others are losing theirs around us, the world was much simpler. Convolutions were contained, choice was mostly exercises in elimination and information was feudal. But keeping head was difficult even then (as opposed to giving head, I suppose. But that is a different story) and had to be actively practised. How much more difficult it must be now, with a billion options and a quintillion roads. How much more complex it must be now to take a deep breath. And how much more rewarding as well.

In an unstable world, the mantra for staying calm is more elusive than a girl made of rainbows. It is more ephemeral than a dragonfly in a furnace and more flighty than a Bohemian on Wall Street. There is no one answer and there is no easy formula in a sachet. If it was that easy, that accessible and so plentiful, everyone would have slashed the sachet after a night out. We live in a particle accelerator and the way to slow things down is more difficult than marrying momentum. All we can do is hope the light takes us.

But if we want to do more than merely hope, if we wish to change our lot and not dwell on divinity as our destiny and destination, if we desire to clench our fists and be prepared to come up with nothing more than the sweat of having tried — then we must find our own secret path to staying calm. It can be no one else’s but ours alone and it has to be discovered by us. No amount of ersatz effort will do. And no amount of looking sideways will either.

I can say this much, not in conclusion but rather in commencement - our paths are our own and our mistakes, ours. Staying stable is not a product. It is in fact, a by-product. Of many things. Clarity is one of them. Actively observed distance is another. Probably. Find the fuck out for yourself.