The opinion of the onion

The Account Planner, pretty much like anyone, is increasingly finding himself under the RoI scanner. What is to become of him? Find out.

The opinion of the onion

I am the Account Planner’s best friend. Also, her saviour, metaphor, allusion, trick and treat. Sometimes, I also give her company on lonely nights but we shall not speak of that here.

I am made of more layers than both my parents put together. If you must know - my dad is the legendary Account Director, warrior of faraway fame and fortune, known to have slain dragons and dwarves with equal aplomb. My mum - the demure-demitasse Creative Director who had looked up at the Sistine roof and had famously wondered: Here is a scam worth busting one’s derriere for.

As for me, well I am complex, mysterious and modelled on the Mona Lisa. Account Planners all across the universe love peeling my layers. And keep peeling my layers. It is a mix of striptease and choreography. I like that.

I can make a thousand insights fall on their knees and beg for an audition if I so much as hint at it. I think my opinions are like my children – full of potential and always right.

Here are some:

  1. The quality of the silence depends on WHO is keeping his mouth shut.

  2. Criticism is content. Critique is the manner in which it is delivered.

  3. A thing of beauty is a pain in the ass for ever.

  4. But, it is worth it (re: 3 above).

  5. We are a gossip economy.

  6. Tom Robbins, Harold Robbins, John Travolta and Nicolas Cage are/were made from god’s sperm.

  7. There IS such a thing as a free lunch. We Indians have built a powerhouse on that premise. It is called an Agency pitch.

  8. Condoleezza Rice is the name of a combo dish at a Chinese takeaway joint. We just have to find out where it is.

I chose to stop at 8 because.